Nothin’ But a Funk

It was one of the first verses that I ever memorized. A mentor of mine would repeat the verse over and over so much so that without ever intending to memorize it, I did. God knew I’d need to recall it many times over the course of my lifetime. He knew I’d need to carry it in my back pocket, just in case.

“…for God does not give US a spirit of fear, but of power, and love and self control.” 

2 Timothy 1:7

I transparently admit I’ve been in a bit of a funk. Apparently, I’m not the only one and it does give me great comfort to know I’m not alone, but a funk is a funk no matter how you slice it. My creative juices haven’t been flowing and as any creative soul knows there is fear in the thought that they may not flow ever again. Creative defines me. It’s the gift I know God has given me. Lord knows He didn’t give me the gift of numbers. He gave me a gift for the creative. The thought of a prolonged period of creative void was overwhelming. Fear crept in. That fear led to thoughts initiated by the enemy that perhaps I was not supposed to create. Maybe God had decided to take it away.

Subtlety is the enemy’s strength and I succumbed to the fear and settled into a funk

It wasn’t until weeks into this fog that I realized that this whole funk hinged on one word.

Fear.

This funk hinged on fear. It was a revelation of sorts. A revelation that revealed itself through the thoughts and words of others, not necessarily intended for me, but words that penetrated and pierced. Identifying the source of my new year funk did not eliminate it by any means, but seeing it with clarity has brought me to a place of submission and faith.

“Unlimited faith is at our disposal. Through the enabling of  the Holy Spirit the believer can serve valiantly, endure patiently, suffer triumphantly, and if need be die gloriously.”

William MacDonald

I’d forgotten who I was and I’d certainly forgotten that “unlimited faith was at my disposal.” I’d forgotten what God gave “US.” God faithfully and graciously reminded me. Like Timothy, I had a legacy of sincere faith before me. I needed to be reminded that the same faith dwelt in me.  I needed the reminder to “fan into flame, the gift of God which is in me.” (2 Timothy 1:5-6) I let the fire dwindle rather than fanning the flame of faithfulness. I knew better, but the enemy’s whispers had gotten the best of me.

The gentle reminder over the course of several weeks presented itself like a beautifully wrapped gift in my life. It washed over my weary spirit like a wave. I was allowing solicitations of fear to overwhelm me rather than living in the conviction of faith when I simply didn’t feel it. God indeed gives and takes away but not at random. There is never a trial or pain that He does not recycle to bring us gain. I know that, but I let the whispers of the enemy penetrate my spirit and I fell for it.

“If we are faithless, He remains faithful.” 2 Timothy 2:13 NKJV

The funk fog has lifted a bit and it is in faith, not fear that I walk. I know that seasons of creative dryness draw me closer to the One from whom all gifts come. I no longer see it as something to fear, but something to patiently endure  while the One who sits upon the throne walks along side me, guiding in faith and revealing who He is in the midst of it. The spirit of fear is not of God. My God is faithful, it’s simply who He is, even in the midst of my funk. In faith, I know, it’s “nothin’ but a funk.” I will emerge faithful and triumphant, better than I arrived, thanks to the One who is unceasingly faithful.

“How thankful I am to Christ Jesus our Lord for….giving me the strength to be faithful to Him.”

1 Timothy 1:12 TLB

Do you find yourself in a funk? Lean in and listen to those around you who discern truth. Expose the root of the funk and then in faith, and patiently, ever so patiently in faith endure.

Inexpressible gratitude to Leah Adams, a fellow funker & Steve Hambrick for his message that exposed tremendous truth.